What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do diabetic people sweat so much?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How can I watch porn on TikTok?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do women really cheat more than men?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What's your love story?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What did Chandrashekhar Azad say about Hinduism during a podcast?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Make Nazis afraid again!